my work ethic is falling apart
today i sat outside the building where my midsem was being held, watched people stream in. i sat outside when the last of the latecomers ran through the doors. i kept watching while till eventually the doors were shut and i was the only person outside. everyone had gone in. then i left, because i didn't want to bump into people on their way out of the test. i wouldn't have known what to say to their questions.

i'd studied for this test, perhaps not well enough, but i had. i was ready to take it.

i must start taking uni more seriously. i must! but what worries me is that it's not the thought of a midsemester test foregone that leaves the pit in my stomach. no, it's something else that makes me feel like i've lost my sense of direction.