my boyfriend has gone missing.
i've been calling that stupid boy at least 4 times all of tonight trying to get him on his mobile but as usual he's forgotten that it died earlier today and obviously hasn't put it in to charge. either that, or he's plugged it in but forgotten to turn it on. i swear, sometimes he's so absent minded i wonder what goes on in his brain. sometimes i imagine it's bits of fluff floating around an empty room.. GRAHHH i also didn't call his house phone because i thought that sometime during the night it would occur to him to call his girlfrient, but nah. evidently not. now it's 11.53 and far too late to ring his house :(

times like this sometimes i want to shake charles very hard -__- his forgetfulness is endearing at times but ohmygawd on days like these, where i want to rant about my dead laptop.. RAWR.

it's been an expensive couple of weeks recently with all the birthdays that came up, most of all expensive also because it was charles's birthday and i took him to dinner at the langham. food was fantastic, to my delight they had the same cabinet stocked top to bottom with the most delectable little desserts (i love my desserts in small portions; it gives you just that much more room to try more things :D) that was smack bang in the middle of a week of LOTS of eating out. it began earlier that week - Stef and I, much inspired by all of our friends' recent choices of dining venues (which included the likes of jacques reymond and hellenic republic and vue de monde), decided we'd try the new place on the block. Coda is the baby of chefs from MoVida (that spanish tapas place); Taxi (on fed square) and Pearl/Longrain. the food is like french fused witth asian and reminds me of Yumcha - tiny portions of bite-sized exotic flavours. my favourite was the duck parfait that came in this ingenius little glass pot, accompanied by apple batons and the smallest, cutest loaf of brioche bread. i liked it so much i even asked for extra bread. :P stef liked the steak tartare best (i actually forgot that the dish was raw when we ordered it and was quite dismayed when it arrived, sitting in all its glory with a runny uncooked egg lying atop of a nicely packed circle of raw looking mince threaded through with herbs) but to my surprise it didn't reek of that raw stench that uncooked beef/egg usually has, and was quite a pleasant accompaniment to the bread we got. oh, we were being adventurous that night, we even ordered snails in puff pastry with a garlicky buttery flavour, and rabbit. (also yum). overall, i really liked the different take on the food, but parting with so much money for mere morsels was slightly disturbing. but yes, i'd go again, just for more warm brioche topped with delectable duck parfait and crunchy apple batons. heaven.

for the trio's birthday dinner we went to Vicharbour on docklands - cheapISh, relative to its neighbours, and decent food followed by mango panna cotta (which i'm convinced i can make better, if only i can get my hands on some fresh mango at this time of the year) and finished off by very rich and smooth lindt cake :) i think i should get a VIP card from lindt or something.

and then the family dinners. chinese restaurants are always nice. i shan't blog about the food though since it's nothing hugely new to me.

so all up i've spent about $250 on birthdays and presents. i haven't been paid from work yet, so i'm hoping my very first paycheck is due soon, because God knows i REALLY need it.

my poor sony vaio gave out after 2 years of faithful service. the scariest message popped up as i started the laptop up - "operating system not detected"

what the...... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP?!

ALL my uni work, music, photos, etc. omg. shall have it sent to the service center tomorrow and pray that they can save my stuff. if not i shall cry.

been rediscovering my love for books (fiction though). sadly still cannot bring myself to do my law readings. i like this author, cassandra clare. and richelle mead. teenybopper stories. also finished the lost symbol, which was confusing/interesting but definitely nothing compared to his other books.

in other news, it's been indirectly implied by some of my accounting group members that i'm stupid. this is sad, because although i KNOW i don't appear hardworking or studious i refuse to believe that i look.. well.. stupid.

time to pick up the slack and get back on top of my work. hopefully the holiday'll help.

who holds the stars up in the sky ?

relistening to the entire walk to remember soundtrack. i absolutely love a walk to remember! it's got to be one of my favourite movies of all time.

i need to pull myself together, and i'm giving myself till tuesday to do it. until then i'm going to give myself time to sort things out, chill for a bit. just let it all go.

i spoke to one of my family friends today. i don't know how i missed it but the little girl i knew, the one i had to look out for and babysit and resented even, when we went to dreamworld and had to take the baby rides because of her, is all grown up now.

with a shock, i realised that she is dating.

what the ...! where did the years go?? i can only see the faintest traces of the little kid she used to be. i feel old. sigh.

my first week at work.

the first day was really hectic. there were a million and one things to remember and no time to do them all. here's some of the my responsibilities as of this week - sending out emails, ordering their mail, opening new client files, lodging documents, the usual scanning/faxing/photocopying, manning the phones, seeing to anyone who walks into the office. it doesn't sound like much, but when you haven't had time to really register exactly how everything is supposed to be done, it's alot.

i learnt to use a typewriter yesterday which was cool because it's such a novelty. i didn't even think people used them anymore, but the office uses the typewriter for labels. *shrug*

it also doesn't help that the person whom i'm supposed to report to is rather impatient and very testy at times. she's youngish, from china and even though her english isn't bad sometimes it's hard to understand clearly what she means and so misunderstandings happen. she tells me to always ask if i'm not sure, but the thought of asking makes me miserable because she already thinks i'm stupid. the way she talks to me is like she's talking to someone slow. the other language she's comfortable with is cantonese, which i don't understand yet. when she speaks to me, i reply in English until she snapped at me - "can you really speak chinese?" after which i made a note to try and remember to talk to her in mandarin (if i can. lol.) this week had a couple of trying moments, like today. i was asked to fill out a bank cheque deposit, which i've never done before. i guess most people would know how to do one but i haven't, and so i asked her how to do it. she raised her eyebrows at me with the most incredulous expression and repeated "you don't know how to do a bank cheque?" when i said no, i didn't, she gave a short laugh and asked me rather condescendingly "what year in uni are you in? you've never deposited a cheque before? do you even have a bank account?"

later on in the day i was asked to open and sort the mail. she'd sort of shown me how to do it on wednesday, plus she seemed busy so i told the person who asked me that i knew how to do it. later when i had a question, she said "why did you tell her you know how to do it if you don't? it's very easy to say 'i know how to do it' but if you really do you shouldn't be asking me then"
sure, she'd shown me once. but i can't remember every single thing. and if i ask questions that's what i get.. so i wonder how this is going to work. for now i swallow it because i know i have a lot to learn and i'm slow in the office. it's just demoralising when i feel like she's already written me off as being incompetent before even giving me a chance to learn and stuff.

anyway, it's been a few days since the merdeka event at cq. seeing kenny sia was mind-blowingly awesome :D he was so different to what i expected in person and he really did exude niceness (don't know if it makes sense, you had to be there) i didn't get a chance to tell him how much i've loved reading his blog over the years or to say thank you for coming down to melbourne and stuff. as we left we realised we should've gotten him a card or something but it was too late, and at 1am none of us wanted to head back to cq and join the mob of malaysian girls surrounding him. when i saw his merdeka entry on his blog, i wanted to leave a comment but as i scrolled down, i realised i didn't see any of his replies to any comments. then this link to the side of the page caught my eye - 'Email Me'. after awhile of contemplating whether or not it bordered on stalkerism but in the end i decided - why not, he's probably not even going to read it anyway.

so i did, i emailed him and said my thankyou's and told him i really liked his blog. i wasn't expecting a reply at all, but to my surprise (and delight - lol i'm still grinning) GUESS WHO EMAILED ME??!! :O i can't believe he took the time to reply my email (even though it was a short reply but still), i would've thought he'd be too busy with all the emails he gets..

yeah, it really made my day.


cheers to my fave blogger.

my work ethic is falling apart
today i sat outside the building where my midsem was being held, watched people stream in. i sat outside when the last of the latecomers ran through the doors. i kept watching while till eventually the doors were shut and i was the only person outside. everyone had gone in. then i left, because i didn't want to bump into people on their way out of the test. i wouldn't have known what to say to their questions.

i'd studied for this test, perhaps not well enough, but i had. i was ready to take it.

i must start taking uni more seriously. i must! but what worries me is that it's not the thought of a midsemester test foregone that leaves the pit in my stomach. no, it's something else that makes me feel like i've lost my sense of direction.

boom boom pow :D

well-crafted plan to study: FAIL :(
i woke up this morning at 9am (which i haven't done on a non-uni day since i don't know when) and flung open the curtains ready to start the day
.... and blinked in surprise at the sunlight - wth, don't even remember morning sun being so glaringly bright.
note to self: curtains are there for a reason.

so i made like a little timetable for myself which involved like 6 hours of study today and 2 chapters of cost info. it ended up being more like 3 hours of study and 1 chapter of cost info. shit. i hope i can finish the other chapter before 11 tonight because i have to wake up for work tomorrow. ahh, work. it's my first day and i'm rather nervous. i've never actually worked (on a long-term basis) in an office before. i hope there are nice people there and even better, people my age. i've had a couple of who-do-i-have-lunch-with panic attacks already :(