i feel like this huge... bomb has been dropped into my lap and i don't know how to handle it. it's something that i thought i would have to deal with one day, but never did i imagine that day would come so soon. suddenly i feel too young, too inexperienced, and just not ready. i know that i can handle the responsibility, but i'm still terrified. :(

falling in love isn't hard, the challenge is staying in love
love me when i least deserve it, because that's when i really need it most

tired now =(
don't wanna give up on exams.
must. keep. going!!

"what" and "if" are two of the most non-threatening words by themselves. but put them together and they could haunt you for the rest of your life. what if... what if.

my first taste of pro-bono lawyering

today was the very first time I got to sit in on a client interview.

client one was a middle aged lady who wanted advice about a possible separation or divorce. I guess it never really occurred to me just how confidential the nature of the information our clients come to us with; the things she shared were very personal. i can only imagine how hard it must've been hard for her to tell those things to a stranger. my heart went out to her and her children whom we learnt are around my age. divorce is a difficult thing, when you've interwoven your life so much with another person's. it reminds me of that line from Over My Head - "let's rearrange, i wish you were a stranger i could disengage" but it was just so strange to contemplate ending a 20 year marriage just with some papers. 20 years of history dissolved like that, and you effectively become strangers.

it's very sad. i certainly don't believe in divorce but i can see how it would be difficult to hang on in her situation. and then there are all the technicalities of divorce - separation, division of marital assets, etc... it's all very... cold and methodical.

client number 2 had not one, but two driving while disqualified charges. that basically means that he had a suspended/disqualified license and he was still driving around. the stupid thing was that the charges were within a week of each other, and it was the same police officer that pulled him over both times. some people just can't catch a break =_= lol. anyway, it turns out client number 2 has a huge list of prior convictions, including things like arson, assault, theft of motor vehicles, etcs. (he's quite a young guy btw) and you know.. he looked harmless. i felt so sorry for him when he asked 'will i be sent to jail with the more serious criminals?' because for his repeat offence, there's a minimum jail term of a month, with up to 2 years' possibility. when we told him that, his face just sank and it was like we had taken the hope away from him.

:(

anyway.. yeah. that's my first taste of pro-bono lawyering, and i really really enjoy it, even though it makes me very sad to see people in such sorry situations. it's hard not to even feel slightly emotionally invested in someone's situation when they come to you for help.

this week is really wearing me out. being in between jobs (not that i'm complaining about that, i'm extremely happy to be out of my crappy new job and to be starting a new one that hopefully *fingers crossed* will be much much better) and juggling uni assignments just a month before exams when i really should have started my revision by now is really stressing me out.

i can't wait for the next 2 weeks to be over. once i get settled into BDO and get the presentation out of the way i can finally catch up on all the stuff i'm supposed to know and actually participate in my tutes instead of reading stuff in the car on the way to uni

on another note the weather is making me sniffley every morning, it's really gross and i hate it. my nose takes like 4 hours to clear up.

ok nobody cares im just rambling kbye =[

the scientist

a fresh start, a new beginning.

love.

come up to meet you, tell you i'm sorry
you don't know how lovely you are
i had to find you, tell you i need you
tell you i set you apart

nobody said it was easy
it's such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said it would be this hard

oh, take me back to the start

if today was your last day

been thinking a lot lately about how i know too many people that are my age and have passed away. we fall into the trap of routine, of living life meaninglessly, of thinking that there will be time in our lives to chase our dreams. what happens if the journey is suddenly cut short? nobody knows what tomorrow holds.

when i die, i want to have experienced an adventure. i want my eyes to have lingered on the world's most beautiful sights, carving them slowly into memory to remain forever. i want to have stood atop the highest peaks and tried everything and anything. i want to have no regrets about any of my decisions. i want to have chased my dreams and fulfilled them. i want to have touched the hearts and lives of the people around me and live a life where i have loved fully. i want to laugh my way through this adventure that stretches ahead of me.

so that's part of the reason i'm quitting. where i work now has no place in the future i want to build for myself. i don't want to spend more time in a place that drains the life out of me.

if today was your last day
would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
you know it's never too late to shoot for the stars

on another note, jjlin is around the corner & i just realised! i have 12 days to listen to 7 albums. ._.